


Bastard Orphans

by Dev_Bee (orphan_account)



Category: Hamilton - Miranda
Genre: Asexual Character, Bisexual Characters, F/F, Intersex James Madison, Low Vison Alex, M/M, Mentions of Rape, Multi, Orphanage AU, Other, Pansexual Character, Paralysed Eliza, These poor beans have such tragic childhoods, Trans Female Character, Trans John, Trans Male Character
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-02-10
Updated: 2018-02-22
Packaged: 2019-03-16 09:37:05
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,951
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13633623
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/Dev_Bee
Summary: Hamilton modern orphanage AU where everyone is teenagers and Ariana DeBose runs the orphanage. Relationship tags to be added as the story goes on.





	1. In Which Alexander Hamilton is brought to DeBose Home For LGBT Youth, other characters are introduced, and a tour of the orphanage is given.

It was just another Saturday morning, all the orphans had eaten breakfast and gotten ready for the day and were hanging out in the common room of DeBose Home For LGBT Youth, and they were all playing cards or chess or checkers, or they were doing homework, and if they weren't doing any of those things they were reading. It was mostly quiet except for an occasional remark or for one of the card, checkers, or chess players to murmur a 'Your move,' or 'Checkmate.'

And then the door burst open, making some jump.

Ms. Ariana DeBose, the founder and 'mother' of the children until they found true families, stood at the door. Next to her was a small boy with dark brown eyes and shoulder length black hair, holding a small bag.

"This is Alexander, please introduce him to all of you and show him to his room, I believe John has an empty bunk?" Ms. DeBose said, then hurried off, for the phone in her office was ringing.

"Um. Hi?" Alexander said, a bit shyly.

An Asian girl in a wheelchair rolled away from a chessboard and rolled up to him.

"Hi, I'm Elizabeth Hugo, you can call me Eliza, Liza, or Bissy, age fifteen, ace and aro, parents died in the car crash that put me in this wheelchair, Jewish, and I speak English, French and Yiddish and I can read Hebrew. And that's how we do introductions here, and you can add in whatever you like. We don't discriminate here, we're all LGBT so it'd be odd for us to. Oh, and you're not allowed to say 'I'm sorry' when we talk about our pasts, just say 'Oh' or something. 'I'm sorry' is just.. well we don't like it."

"Okay," Alexander said, and allowed Elizabeth to pull him over to the others.

"I'm Alexander Hamilton, you can call me Alex, fifteen, bisexual, um, I was born in the British West Indies, I'm Hispanic, illegitimate, I guess a bastard. My mom died of lung cancer when I was twelve, my biological father walked out a year earlier, the dude my mom was married to dumped me with a cousin in America who later committed suicide, so the state put me here. I'm Jewish, I speak English, Spanish, French, Creole, and a little bit of Hebrew. Oh, and uh, I'm a little hard of seeing, but I'm not blind and I can see you, just not very well."

An African American girl with an Afro spoke up. "Alex, we're all bastard orphans. Most of us come from abusive parents, criminal parents, and the ones who didn't, well, this damned Republican government probably doesn't like them for being LGBT. That doesn't mean we won't be sympathetic or not help you if you need it, most of us can relate so we help better than an expensive therapist or parent figure could. But if you're hard of seeing, tell Ms. DeBose and she'll get you an eye doctor appointment. Oh, and I'm Dolley Payne, black, pansexual, from Virginia, my mom walked out when I was little and my dad raped me, and I sure hope you don't have anything against rape victims because that isn't good to have here. Anyway, I went to the police, he got fifteen years with parole possible after ten, so I guess he can have parole in two months. I don't religion, and I speak English and German, and Peggy's taught me some Korean."

"I don't have anything against rape victims, which one is Peggy?"

"Me!" A younger girl shouted across the room. She then walked over and shook Alex's hand firmly. "I am Margarita Newman-Sandfield, but call me Peggy. My biological parents abandoned me and I got adopted by two dads who had a daughter, Grace, from a friend of theirs with a uterus, she's seventeen now, Grace, but they disappeared and I got put here until they come back for me. That was when I was ten, I'm fourteen now, gay, Hispanic, specifically Dominican, and I speak English, Spanish, and Grace taught me Korean and Angelica, my orphan sister, taught me German."

"Orphan sister?"

"Gosh, you're full of questions," a new voice said, and a quick lookover of the room revealed it to be from another African American girl, this one with her hair in curly ringlets tumbling just below her shoulders. "I'm Angelica Schuyler, Peggy and Eliza's orphan sister. The three of us kinda adopted each other, Peggy adopted Eliza when she came because Eliza was kinda scared, and I came in a couple weeks later and they adopted me, even though I'm 16, older than them. My parents were killed on 9/11 because they were in the North Tower at a bad time, and I got tossed around relatives until one got fed up and dumped me here. I'm pansexual, not religious, and I speak English, German, and Swedish."

"Got it."

"Let's organise this so that we actually get this done eventually, shall we?" Suggested a blonde chess player without looking up from the board.

"Yeah. Everyone sit in a circle and we can do it that way," Angelica said, and started to direct children into spots.

The blonde girl started to get up, but moved a chess piece. From Alex's point of view, he couldn't tell what piece it was.

"Checkmate," Blonde Girl said.

The girl she was playing against, an African American girl with long thin braids, nodded and shook Blonde Girl's hand, and then they sat in the assembling circle.

The way the circle was set up, the people who had already introduced themselves to Alex all sat together on one side of him, and everyone else was next to them in a perfect circle that Alex was the top corner of, if circles had corners.

The next person in line was a small boy with an extremely freckled face and curly brown hair and- lord, he was cute.

"I'm John Laurens, fifteen, transgender, specifically ftm, half white and half Latina, specifically Mexican on the Latina side, my dad emotionally and physically abused me and even raped me once so I finally went to the police and he got twenty five years. My mom died when I was little and Dad never told me why. I'm gay, I'm new like you, I came in two weeks ago, and I speak English and Spanish."

Alex gave him a sort of shy, gentle smile, not like a smile toned down as if he thought a grin would break the small, fragile boy, but a smile that was basically saying that he had a crush on the boy.

John returned the smile with a lopsided grin, he wasn't afraid of this boy breaking, though he was just as tiny as himself. He seemed to be held up by something. Barriers, probably, and maybe words too. It would take awhile to figure it out.

This exchange lasted but a few seconds, and the next person went, a tall and big African American boy with an Afro. "I'm Hercules Mulligan, age sixteen. Mythology jokes are not received well by me, however if you've read Percy Jackson I will gladly fanboy with you. My moms got killed in a car explosion, I'm bisexual, I'm black, and I speak English and German and a bit of Dutch."

There was hardly a pause before the next person went, another African American boy even taller than Hercules with short but voluminous dreadlocks. "I am Thomas Jefferson, sixteen, black, my mom had tuberculosis and my dad was a girls soccer coach and he... well he's in jail now, I guess you can tell why. I'm Catholic, bisexual, and I speak English and French."

"Abigail Adams, sixteen, the one white kid here, Mum walked out and Da decided to touch me so he's in jail, but he might get parole in a month or so, but he lost custody so it doesn't matter, English and French, lesbian, no religion," A petite redhead girl announced.

"Betsy Struxness, fourteen, Hispanic, Puerto Rican, Papà drowned, long story, and Mamà couldn't go on and she killed herself. English and Spanish, Catholic, polyramous," Blonde Girl said.

"James Madison, 15, black, intersex male, my dads died in a shooting, gay, English and Hungarian, and no religion," a small African American boy with a box of tissues said quietly.

"Theodosia Alston, sixteen, black, from the Netherlands, Mom died from complications of my birth, Maman remarried a lady named Amy, Maman died of accidental overdose in a hospital, she'd broken her leg and they overdosed the pain relievers, and Amy turned out to be a creep and murdered someone, so she's in jail for a good long while. Gay, Jewish, English, French, Dutch, German, Hungarian, Polish, Swedish, Indonesian, and Korean. I give the most language lessons of anyone and I'm useful with language homework if you need help ever," the girl who'd lost the chess game to Betsy said.

"Aaron Burr, fifteen, black, both my parents died in a car crash that I wasn't in, I speak English and German, not religous, and pansexual," a boy who was bigger than Madison, but not by much, said.

A couple of other kids introduced themselves to Alex, and then John and Peggy stood.

"We give the new kids tours of the orphanage, and you can unpack," John said. Alex nodded and followed the pair. Peggy opened the door and held it open, then started pointing.

"This is the main hall, to your left is the girl's dorm, to the right is the boy's dorm, and up ahead are the bathrooms. Do you want to unpack first or tour first?"

"I'd like the tour first," Alex said.

"Okay," Peggy grinned.

They came up to the end of the hall. "One is the girls bathroom, the other is the boys, and there's a door inside each one that leads to the showers. There's Braille on the signs, and if you can't tell which is which at any point, someone will show you the way, don't be too embarrassed to ask for help, nobody's gonna pick on you. Now, back to the boy's dorm, because there's only one way to get to hall two with the mess hall and kitchen and door to outside."

So back to the boys dorm they went.

"You can put your bag down in here if you like," John said quietly.

"Okay. Where do I put it?" Alex asked.

"John's the only one without a bunkmate, unless either of you have any objections I think you ought to be his bunkmate."

"I have no objections," Alex said.

"I don't either, but I have nightmares, are you sure.."

"It's okay, I don't mind," Alex said with a smile.

Peggy led them to John's bunkbed. "The way this works is you share a dresser with your bunkmate and two other kids. You'll be sharing with Hercules and Gilbert as well as John."

"Got it," Alex said, and set his bag down.

Peggy led Alex to a new door and opened it. "This goes to hall two, where you can find the mess hall, kitchen, and doors to outside. The cooks, Shelby and Antonia, are here every day of the week except Sunday. They're pretty cool and the food is decent."

When John opened the door to the kitchen, two middle aged women bickering stopped and stared at the children. Then one of them rushed to Alexander.

"A new child! _Estupendo_! Child, name, _por favour_?"  
"Alexander Hamilton, I'm fifteen," Alex said.

  
"Ay, another Latina child, I presume! And male! Antonia, dearest, I win!"

  
"Ah, fine," Antonia grumbled, giving the other cook- who must be Shelby, a handful of silver dollars.

  
"They bet on the next child to come. Shelby always bets boy and Antonia always bets girl," Peggy explained.

  
"What if the child is non binary?" Alex asked.

  
"Then they ask what they were born as. If they're intersex and non binary, then neither wins, but we've never had an intersex non binary person here," John said.

  
"Ah, got it."

  
From there they moved on to the mess hall, which was one long gray plastic table with circle seats attached to it that sat twenty four and seven smaller tables that each sat eight.

  
"We don't usually use the big table for everyone, we spread out, unless it's Thanksgiving or Hanukkah or Christmas or anything," Peggy said.

  
And through heavy French doors in the mess hall was the outside, a decent sized backyard with a small hill on the left. "When it snows, the hill is decent sledding and we make snow forts and have snowball fights," Peggy said.

  
And then the tour ended and Alex went with John to unpack his things. He only had five shirts and four pairs of pants, plus six pairs of underwear and five of socks, but he was determined to make them last a long time.

  
The only other thing in his bag besides his clothes (he was wearing his only shoes) was an old notebook and pen, and a small leather bound Torah. "This Torah was my mom's. And before that, it was passed down since the 60s to the eldest girl in the family. It's all in Hebrew, too," Alex explained to John, who was looking on.

  
"That's cool," John said.

  
Alex carefully placed the Torah on his half of the dresser top (Gilbert and Hercules got a wall, Alex and John got the dressertop) and put his bag with his clothes.

  
Then, Angelica burst in.

  
"If you're done unpacking, we're playing Cards Against Humanity!"

  
-

 _"Mamà, please let me go for the doctor,_ tanpri _." Twelve-year-old Alex pleaded to his mother._

_  
"Lexi, dearest, I don't believe either of us can walk that far without giving out," his Mamà whispered hoarsely._

_  
"Couldn't I at least check the cabinet for the grown-up Tylenol, Mamà?"_

_  
"Lexi, I used the last of that three days ago, but I believe there is some children's Tylenol left, it won't work for me but it might help you."_

_  
"I gave the rest of that to you yesterday, Mamà. I think the only thing we have left are the vitamin C gummies now."_

_  
"I'll get those, maybe they'll help us."_

_  
"No, Mamà, you should stay in bed, I'll get them."_

_  
"Lexi, child, you are sicker than I."_

_  
"Mamà, no. I shall get them."_

_  
"No, Lexi, it is no use."_

_  
"Huh?"_

_  
"What time is it, Lexi?"_

_  
"Eighty fifty-eight PM, why?"_

_  
"Keep your eye on the clock. My last wish is to have the time of my death recorded."_

_  
"Mamà.."_

_  
No answer._

_  
"Mamà!"_

_  
Alex screamed_

  
Alex woke up with a tiny scream lingering from the dream, and sat up quickly.

  
He heard a soft yelp below him on the bottom bunk, and a squeak from the old bed as it's occupant moved.  
Alex waited a moment, then peeked down.

  
John jumped when he saw him, then whispered, "You too?"

  
Alex nodded.

  
"You... you can sit with me if you want, just don't touch me, my binder isn't on," John said.

  
Alex climbed down and sat across from John on his bed, noticing the bump of John's chest under his shirt, but saying nothing about it.

  
After several minutes, John asked, "Do you think you'll be able to sleep more?"

  
"No," Alex said.

  
"Shelby and Antonia leave cookies on the big table when they leave in case someone has a nightmare, we could go eat them."

  
"Okay.. but I can't... I... my eyes... when it's dark, it's worse."

  
"It's okay, just grab my hand and I'll lead you there."

  
Alex took John's hand slowly. It was warm, a bit sticky from sweat, but soft, and Alex felt a fluttering in his stomach.

  
Alex let John lead him to the mess hall and to the big table, where sure enough, Alex could make out a plate with what he assumed were cookies on it.

  
John helped Alex sit down and then sat down himself and handed Alex a cookie. "You're not allergic to gluten or chocolate or anything, right?"

  
"No, I'm not allergic to anything," Alex said.

  
John nodded- or at least that's what Alex thought- and began to eat his cookie. Alex did the same.

  
When they finished their cookies, John spoke again.

  
"Whenever two people have nightmares here and go to the mess hall, they usually just talk until morning."

  
"Okay. What do you want to talk about?"

  
"Um, I have three younger siblings, Martha is the second oldest, she's eleven, then James is nine, Henry is seven, and Mary Elenor is two. Martha and James are from my dad's ex wife, Henry is from his second wife, and Mary Elenor is from his third. The first and second wives divorced him and the third commited suicide, or Dad might've killed her, I'm not sure. They're all in foster homes, but the state decided to put me here. I don't really mind though, they never really liked me."

  
"I had a brother named James, he was two years older than me, and he left my mom and I a couple weeks after Dad left. I don't know what happened to him."

  
"Did you have any grandparents?"

  
"My dad's mom, we called her Abeula, she was half Korean and half Hispanic, she told stories about when she was a little girl and made kimchi, but she died when I was seven."

  
"My grandmother was my dad's mom, she never really liked me either."

  
"Oh."

  
"Have you ever seen a Disney movie?"

  
"We didn't have a TV, but when I was five my dad took me and James and Mamà to see WALL-E when it came out. When I lived with my cousin, we watched A New Hope, and those are the only movies I've ever seen."

  
"Ay, that's not good. Disney movies are great. We have a film festival every month, it's next Saturday, Ms. DeBose's girlfriends Cece and Xandria come over, and Gilbert will probably make us watch all the animated Disney movies in chronological order, and that's not even counting all the Star Wars you haven't seen."

  
Alex laughed a tiny bit, which made John smile.

"Ms. DeBose is polyramous?"

"Yeah, Cece and Xandria are pretty cool. Cece is Thai and Xandria is half black, half Japanese."

"Oh, that's cool. Did you watch Disney movies growing up?" Alex asked.

  
"Not in the theatres when they came out, but when they came on DVD I'd get to watch them, and thus I've seen most of the Disney movies. But Ms. DeBose has all of them except Coco and The Last Jedi, but those aren't on DVD yet anyway."

  
"Do you have any hobbies?"

  
"I like drawing, and reading, and tearing down fascist signs on the gate."

  
"People put fascist signs on the gate?!"

  
"Yup. This is the Bronx, kid. It's not a great neighbourhood. But we get to go into the city once a week, usually a walk, sometimes we get to go to a museum, and around Christmastime we go to Rockefeller."

  
"My hobby is writing, and I've never been in the city."

  
"Well then, kid, you'll probably love it."

  
They talked of random things for awhile into the night, but eventually John dropped off on Alex's shoulder and Alex soon followed.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


	2. In Which Alexander's vision and mental problems are made obvious, and Dolley takes matters into her own hands.

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title says it.

"Alexander, John?"

 

Alex was slowly waking up. It was slightly dark, but the light was on in... where was he? Ah yes the mess hall with John.

 

The mess hall with John.

With John..

 

Alex bolted up, jerking John out of slumber himself, and Alex fell off the bench, and John almost did too.

 

"Goodness gracious, you two nearly gave me a heart attack. How long have you been out here?" Ms. DeBose asked.

 

"Since last night. We..." Alexander trailed off.

 

Ms. DeBose saw the empty cookie plate. "Ah, I see. I think it's a good thing I was the one to be startled by you two, had Betsy and Thomas seen you when they got up for Mass they'd have never let you live it down. It's 6:45, I suggest you get dressed, it's a bit too late to go back to sleep."

 

"Okay," Alex said, getting up from the floor and going out, hitting his face on the door in the process, but quickly recovered and got out of the room, got his clothes, and tried to figure out which bathroom was the boy's in the dark hall-

 

"It's the one on the right, Alexander," John said quietly from behind him.

 

Alex nodded and went in, got dressed, brushed his teeth and put his hair in a low ponytail, and with the help of John, went to the common room.

 

"You should really talk to Ms. DeBose, so it can be fixed before it gets any worse, Alexander," John suggested gently.

 

"I know I should, but I just-"

 

"Don't want to be a burden?"

 

"How'd you know?"

 

"Ms. DeBose doesn't see any of us as burdens. She got me my first binder. And she found me a therapist so eventually I can get on testosterone. She's more than happy to help, you just have to let her."

 

"Okay, but she's cooking breakfast right now, isn't she?"

 

"Then it's the best time. She's a great cook and she can talk to you while she cooks, and it'll be before everyone else gets up."

 

"Okay.."

 

"Do you need any help?"

 

"No, thank you... I-I got this."

 

After hitting two walls and a door but somehow not waking anyone up, Alex found the kitchen.

 

"Good morning, Alexander," Ms. DeBose said, without looking up from the eggs she was rapidly whisking in a bowl."

 

"Good morning, Ms. DeBose. Can... can I talk to you about something?"

 

"Why yes, of course. What is it?"

 

"It's.. it's my eyes. I'm just kinda... low vision. I can see okay right now, the light is on and the sun's shining through the windows, but if the lights were out and the sun wasn't up... it's terrible. And my eyes don't adjust to the dark, at least not all the way."

 

"That's quite all right, I can schedule you an eye doctor appointment sometime today."

 

"Thank you."

 

"It's quite all right, Alexander."

 

Alexander slowly made his way back to the common room, bumping into Thomas as he was standing up with his clothes to go change, "I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry."

 

Thomas gave Alex a strange look. "It's okay, dude."

 

Alex bumped into the door on the way out of the dorm, and some walls, and then he was back.

 

"You... you have a bruise on your face," John said, looking up from a book.

 

"Oh. It's probably from running into doors, I'll be fine."

 

John was silent for awhile, and then he went back to his book.

 

Alex sat on the floor quietly, and slipped into a place that was his only comfort- meditation, that his dad had taught him.

 

He didn't even notice when Thomas and Betsy came in, and awhile later Angelica, Peggy, Eliza, Theodosia, and Dolley, and eventually everyone else. He only noticed when Dolley shook him by the shoulder suddenly and he jumped and came out of his meditative state.

 

"You looked dead. And Ms. DeBose is calling us to breakfast," she explained.

 

Alex nodded and got up. The lights were on so he could see much much better, and he didn't run into anything on the way to the mess hall.

 

Eliza quickly explained that it was set up like a cafeteria line- grab a plate, move down the line and grab what you want, but you don't have to pay for it at the end.

 

Ms. DeBose had cooked scrambled eggs, bacon, sausage, fake meat sausage, and biscuits. Alex had only ever had scrambled eggs when he was with Peter, and he'd turned down the bacon because it wasn't a clean meat in kosher, and also he was putting cream cheese in the eggs, which would be violating the milk and meat rule of kosher. So he simply took a scoop of eggs and a biscuit, noting the cream cheese in these eggs too and not getting butter for his biscuit.

 

He looked around for a moment for a place to seat, until Angelica grabbed his arm and pulled him to the big table and sat him next to her. On his other side was John.

 

Were they trying to set him up or something?

 

The chatter at the table was Eliza talking about her Indonesian class with Theodosia, and Peggy talking with Angelica about... a TPOP group, he thought. James was showing Aaron how to assemble an egg and cheese biscuit sandwich, and John was talking to Gilbert about earrings.

 

It was nice, kind of like a family setting, even if he was quiet and nobody was talking to-

 

"Hey Alexander, where'd you get those bruises from?" Aaron asked.

 

Alexander bit his lip and inside his mind was running 200 miles per hour, figuring out his options.

 

"I... I ran into a door."

 

"How come?" Betsy asked.

 

"It was dark," Alexander said, hoping that he could shut down this conversation.

 

Luckily, Betsy started talking to Thomas about the pastor at the Catholic Church they attended, and Aaron asked James why there was bacon under and on the eggs. "Isn't that too much?"

 

"No, Aaron, the shining star of the whole dish is bacon! Bacon is amazing!" James gasped, appalled.

 

"Shouldn't the biscuit be? Or the eggs? Why the bacon?"

 

"Because bacon is the best food ever!"

 

"It's unclean!" Chorused Eliza and Theodosia.

 

"In YOUR religion." James retorted.

 

"Like you're religious!"

 

"Boys and girls, please. Betsy and Thomas, your bus is in twenty minutes," Ms. DeBose butted in.

 

Alex was still silent. He felt suddenly shy? Vulnerable?

 

 

The bruises

 

They were sensitive, and they were big blobs of purple on his nose, cheekbone, and forehead and they were like a mark of shame.

 

He hated them already. He hated himself for running into the walls and doors. For not being able to see better.

 

It's not your fault, a quiet, serene, and comforting voice laps at his mind like a small wave, which is quickly pushed away by the darkness of the hurricane of his mind-

 

"Alexander, are you okay?" John asked, looking at him with concerned hazel eyes.

 

He noticed 3 things

 

1) he'd been tearing at his knuckles

 

2) the chatter had ceased to silence

 

3) everyone was looking at him

 

He quickly weighed his options. Run out like an idiot like he really wanted to, or say he was fine, finish his food and then hide in the bathroom for awhile.

 

He chose the second option.

 

"Y-yeah, I'm fine," he said, his voice wavering much more than he wanted it to.

 

"You looked like you were having a panic attack," Eliza said softly.

 

"I-I'm fine, okay?"

 

That shut down the subject.

 

 

And after he was done, he got up, washed his plate (much to the chagrin of Ms. DeBose, who tried to wash it herself. Alex didn't say anything, but kept washing, and retreated to the boys bathroom after it all, and had a good cry. A silent one, so when boys came in to brush their teeth and stuff nobody heard him. John knocked on Alex's stall, but Alex didn't answer.

 

He felt he was somewhat betraying John, someone who helped him, someone he liked, but he just couldn't let him in.

 

John didn't feel betrayed, he figured that Alexander wanted to be alone, but he also knew that he didn't want to let him in because doing that would let down shields that he wasn't ready to let down.

 

But that was okay. He had some of those shields up too. He understood.

 

-

 

 

Eventually, Alexander came out, and he slipped into the common room unnoticed and wrote furiously in his notebook in a corner by a giant bookshelf that spanned the entire wall.. until Theodosia came over and nearly tripped over him, and then nearly fainted.

 

Alex looked alarmed and he jumped up and firmly held her shoulder steady.

 

"Kid, you nearly gave me a heart attack!" Theodosia scolded without much anger.

 

Peggy piped up from across the room. "Xandria told me that Ms. DeBose nearly had a heart attack this morning because John and Alex had fallen asleep in the Mess. We should be keeping track!"

 

"I'll do it!" Hercules called, and on a chalkboard on the other side of the room, he wrote:

 

Number of heart attacks Alexander Hamilton has nearly given: 2

 

Alex groaned.

 

"Hey, kid, you okay? We didn't mean to do anything to you at breakfast, I speak for all of us in saying that all we're sorry," Theodosia said.

 

"I'm fine, besides you didn't do anything, neither did anyone else," Alex said.

 

Theodosia gave him an odd look and then simply took a book from a shelf and retreated to a couch.

 

 

Alex resumed writing.

-

 

 

At dinner, Ms. DeBose's girlfriends Xandria and Cece were still at the orphanage, and they ordered pizzas and decided to have a Cards Against Humanity tournament with the children. They combined 2 sets to make sure they had enough cards, and set up the long table for it. Alex ended up being seated between Dolley and Hercules, and across from John.

 

They were totally trying to set him up with John.

 

Alex, though extremely brutal, didn't win a round for awhile, until Aaron finally gave him a win. When he was given the answers, he picked the least brutal card, which gave Dolley a win, and then he didn't win again. He didn't mind, it was kinda fun but he was tired and not very interested- not in a stuck-up way, just like he'd lost the drive to want to be interested.

 

Was that bad?

 

No, he didn't think so, it would probably blow over in a bit, he was just adjusting-"

 

"Yo. Kid," Dolley said, tapping Alex on the shoulder.

 

<p>"Sorry, I-I just zoned out for a bit," Alex said.

 

<p>"We're starting another round. You game?"

 

"Yeah. Yeah, sure," Alex said, forcing a smile.

 

 _That's it,_ Dolley thought.  _He's getting a group therapy session sometime today. The kid's obviously depressed._

 

  
Dolley was not the most therapeutic kid there, but she could usually tell when someone needed help. She'd help organise a group therapy session in the common room when John came, because John was just as bad as this kid, but in a different way.

 

They hadn't thought they were going to need to use it again once John got an actual therapist, but they'd agreed on a code phrase just in case.

 

"Report to command, CC-82," Dolley whispered in the ear of the person next to her, Betsy.

 

Betsy nodded and whispered in the ear of Gilbert, and Gilbert whispered to James, and James whispered to a girl named Fiona, and so forth. But Ms. DeBose, Cece, and Xandria never got wind of it. The whisperers had their ways of getting to the next person.

 

The pizza finally arrived, and Alex managed to not eat any. He had his ways too.

 

And John?

 

John was concerned for Alexander.

 

and maybe also in love with him.

 

But that wasn't important.

-

 

 

After dinner, John pulled Alex into the girl's dorm and made him sit on Theodosia's bunk.

 

"What's going on?" Alex asked.

 

"Alexander, we are worried about you," Dolley began.

 

"I'm honestly fine. Will you stop bothering me about it? I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I am _perfectamente jodidamente bien._ "

 

Peggy whispered something in Eliza's ear.

 

"Oi vey, Alexander! Ah, Peggy, please help me."

 

Peggy helped Eliza back into her chair and Eliza rolled up to Alexander.

 

"Listen here, Alexander," Eliza said in a low angry voice.  _"'nchnw rq mnsym l'zwr lk 'lksndr rq tgydy lnw mh qwrh w'l t'z ldchwp 'wtnw shwb 'w kk t'zwr ly sh'shlch 't htcht h'lwb shlk ltws bshbw' hb'"_

 

"Alright, fine! What do you want from me, then!?"

 

"Tell us what's bothering you," Dolley said.

 

"I get flashbacks and I zone out a lot and I can't see well and I can't hear well either and I'm afraid that my Papà is going to come for me one day and I'm afraid one day I'll be deaf and blind and I'm afraid I'll be deported back to St. Kitts and Papà will   _¡Encuéntrame y grita mi trasero!"_

 

"I understand. So what's your beef with us then, _papito?!"_ Eliza shouted.

 

"I thought you didn't speak Spanish!" Alex shouted back.

 

"Peggy has taught me useful phrases, you _¡Cabron!"_

 

"Children!" Ms. DeBose shouted. "This is unacceptable! Eliza, explain. Then Alexander."

 

"We tried to give him group therapy and he's lashing out!" Eliza said.

 

"Alexander?"

 

Alexander gave no answer. He was hugging himself and breathing too quickly and too shallowly.

 

"Alexander, _papito, Estás a salvo, Eliza te quiere, John está enamorado de ti, la señorita DeBose está aquí, no más gritos, ¡cariño!"_ Peggy said, switching to Spanish to give Alexander something familiar to hang onto.

 

Peggy succeeded in calming Alexander down, at which point she gave Ms. DeBose a look that seemed to say, _this one's yours now._

 

"Alexander, are you alright?" Ms. DeBose asked, crouching down.

 

"Yes, Ms. DeBose, I'm sorry."

 

"No, no, sir, you are not to be sorry. No. You should not be sorry for anything! You may go to bed, tomorrow will be a long day, alright?"

 

"Yes, _Señora._ "

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I have a good deal of this planned out, but I struggled a bit with this scene, because I wasn't sure how to make Alexander react. Also I keep hearing Ms. DeBose in Lydia's voice (from One Day At A Time)
> 
> Come bother me @tinylittleweirdo because I love people bothering me. Also whichever one of you angels bookmarked this work I love you.
> 
> Translations:
> 
> 'nchnw rq mnsym l'zwr lk 'lksndr rq tgydy lnw mh qwrh w'l t'z ldchwp 'wtnw shwb 'w kk t'zwr ly sh'shlch 't htcht h'lwb shlk ltws bshbw' hb'- We are trying to help you, Alexandre! Please just tell us what's going on, and don't you dare push us away again or so help me I will send your sorry ass flying into next week.
> 
> perfectamente jodidamente bien- Perfectly fucking fine
> 
> ¡Encuéntrame y grita mi trasero!- Find me and whoop my ass
> 
> Papito- daddy (I heard this on One Day At A Time and figured it was a term of endearment so I translated it and.... can a Latina person please explain? I want to understand what exactly it means.)
> 
> Cabron- Bastard
> 
> papito, Estás a salvo, Eliza te quiere, John está enamorado de ti, la señorita DeBose está aquí, no más gritos, ¡cariño- Daddy, You're safe, Eliza loves you, John is in love with you, Miss DeBose is here, no more cries, honey
> 
> Señora- Ma'am
> 
> Third chapter is coming, but this chapter was bothering me because I'd forgotten to post the translations, so I fiddled with the Hebrew (I'm using google translate) and then translated the Spanish and fixed this.


	3. In Which Eliza's, or Sarah's, backstory is told, and Alexander gets a diagnosis

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Title says it!

After the incident, Alexander was a bit more animated, and he apologised to Eliza on his way to brush his teeth.

Eliza quickly told him it was okay, it was fine, she was the one who should be apologising, and she did, and Alexander forgave her, and then they were good.

It's not like she didn't know where Alexander was coming from, Eliza had problems too.

She wanted a flatter belly, a thigh gap, and her mother back.

It was February 13th. It was a beautiful day, sixty-degree weather, warm for the area this time of year, and Eliza's mother came into her daughter's hair while she was brushing her hair in the morning.

"Daughter, your name is now Sarah. Remember that now," she said to the young girl, gently taking the brush from her and parting her hair and beginning to plait a French braid.

"Why, mother? Why can't I stay an Eliza?" She asked, tilting her head up to allow her mother easier braiding.

"Because I want a Sarah. I cannot have any other children, and your father promised me we'd name a child Sarah, because that name is my name, your grandmother's name, her mother's name, passed on since the eighteen hundreds, if not longer," she explained, reaching for a hair tie from her daughter's dresser.  "It is the name of your family, and since I can't give you a sister or brother, you will be my Sarah, and you will name one of your children, preferably your firstborn daughter to avoid the situation you are in right now, and then she will pass it on to her daughter. Is that understood, Sarah?" 

"Yes, mother," ~~Eliza~~  Sarah said.

Later that day, ~~Eliza's~~  Sarah's mother took her and her father out for ice cream at Ala Mode's. Eliza Sarah ordered coffee ice cream, her mother ordered a strawberry milkshake, and her mother ordered a banana split that he shared with Eliza Sarah.

The looks exchanged between her parents, the silence other than them talking to her, could only mean that they were going to argue about this later.

On the way back, they had to drive up Thatcher Mountain. The road had stone walls on either side so you couldn't fall off the side of the mountain, and Eliza offhandly mentioned to her father that day that she wished they weren't there so she could see the land below.

Suddenly, a runaway truck came barrelling at them, out of absolutely nowhere, and unlike some people who say things like this happen fast, ~~Eliza~~  Sarah remembers it in painstaking detail, remembers it being painfully slow, as if the person filming the happenings in the world turned on the slo-mo.

 ~~Eliza's~~  Sarah's mother swerved to avoid the truck and hit the wall, and the car pinged off the wall like a pinball, ~~Eliza~~  Sarah flying out the windshield and landing a couple meters away on the road, the car nearly missing the truck, the car hitting the other wall, then overturning and stopping.

 ~~~~ ~~~~She remembers her mother crying out when the car hit the first wall, remembers the feeling of the glass on her face (she still finds tiny pieces of glass in her face to this day) remembers hitting the pavement, scraping her elbows, her legs going numb. Remembers seeing the car overturn, once, twice, then stopping, right-side up. Remembers seeing her father's body through the passenger side window, unconscious, a huge bloody gash on his temple, and wanting so badly to go help him but her legs wouldn't work and she had no phone and then she was having a panic attack on the road.

Another driver was the one to call the police, she was driving a Chevy Escalade up the mountain and saw the crash, and calmed ~~Eliza~~  Sarah down, her name was Amber, she was white, with curly red hair, she was wearing way too much makeup, she was wearing an emerald green suit, and she had a strong southern accent.

Amber asked her if she could move her legs, or feel them, and ~~Eliza~~  Sarah said no. Amber said it was okay, and she treated Eliza's? Sarah's? skinned elbows with a first-aid kit and drew cats on the bandages while they were waiting for the ambulance.

The medics asked her questions, and told her not to go to sleep. ~~Eliza~~  Sarah said that she couldn't fall asleep if she wanted to.

At the hospital, it was tests, bandaging, and a bed. And Amber telling ~~Eliza~~  Sarah that her parents were gone.

And then Amber told her that she'd never walk again.

And then the doctors discharged her one day, asked her some questions, then took her to DeBose Home for LGBT Youth.

She met Peggy, and she adopted her, sort of, as her sister. Then Angelica came along, and they adopted her as a sister too. Those three, they were the only ones who knew that she was Sarah. 

  
Or at least, otherwise known as Sarah.

Eliza was Korean, and that was a fact you wouldn't know unless you asked her. She felt guilty for not knowing Korean, and not knowing much about Korean culture, except for one thing.

February 13th is the 44th day of the year, and 44 is an unlucky number in Korean culture.

* * *

 

The next morning, Ms. DeBose produced a green backpack and the necessary textbooks and supplies that Alexander would need and gave them to him, and Alexander, for the first time, smiled.

Dolley and Eliza exchanged glances.

At the school, Alexander was whisked to the principal's office, because apparently he hadn't had much schooling on Nevis and St. Kitts and in Florida with his cousin, so they were putting him through testing.

At lunch, he was nowhere to be found. Nobody really noticed, though, they were sitting with their school friends and hardly thought about Alex.

After school, Alex had to get on a bus and go to an eye doctor, and he was on cloud nine because of how well he'd done on the tests until he got on that dammed bus, and then he was falling onto the ground in the Mario game in his head.

Much to his surprise, John got on two stops later, and upon seeing Alexander he asked if the seat next to him was taken.

"You can sit here," Alex said quietly.

"Are you okay?"

"I have to get my eyes checked today and I-I..."

"I understand."

"So what're you doing?"

"Therapy. Last time my therapist said that she could prescribe me testosterone next visit," he said with a grin.

"Awesome!"

John smiled a big, happy, full smile, and turned his head to peer out the window.

"This neighbourhood has a reputation for being dangerous and bad, but if you really look, you'll see how pretty it is," John said, and Alex could see that they were passing a mural on the side of a building, a mural of people of many different colours and shapes, wearing pride flag shirts and pride flag pins.

"A lot of the people who live here are good too," John said.

Alex nodded and watched that little portrait as the bus got on the highway towards Brooklyn Bridge.

The two of them sat in silence the rest of the way, all the way into Brooklyn, where John got off, and Alex got off two stops later.

 

* * *

 

"How was it?" Alex asked.

John smiled. "She prescribed me testosterone!" He said excitedly, a giant smile on his face.

"That's awesome!" Alex said, smiling as well.

"How was your thing?" John asked.

Alex's smile disappeared. "The doctor said that there's a high chance I have Type 3 Usher Syndrome, but the test results won't come in until Thursday."

"Oh. Is there a cure?"

"No. He said there's educational programs for me to understand fully what's happening to me, and I should learn ASL, even though my sight seems to the worst off right now, and if my hearing gets especially bad, I could get hearing aids. And for my vision, I could do glasses or contacts, but it won't cure anything, just help me out until it gets so bad that there's no point."

"That's awful, Alexander."

Alex shrugged. "I know."

The rest of the bus ride was silent.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the shorter chapter, but it was a struggle getting this out there at ALL, my inspiration for this story has gone down a lot, and part of this was a draft just sitting there since February.

**Author's Note:**

> I really should be plotting other things but my brain likes to give me good ideas for fanfiction not plotting.


End file.
